


I Hope That The Roaming Charges Are Ridiculously High Wherever You Are

by acetamide



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M, Prompt Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-29
Updated: 2011-05-29
Packaged: 2017-10-19 21:57:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acetamide/pseuds/acetamide
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>La la la la la, <a href="http://lemniciate.livejournal.com/76769.html?thread=4322273#t4322273">somebody asked for it</a>, I can never resist these things.</p>
    </blockquote>





	I Hope That The Roaming Charges Are Ridiculously High Wherever You Are

**Author's Note:**

> La la la la la, [somebody asked for it](http://lemniciate.livejournal.com/76769.html?thread=4322273#t4322273), I can never resist these things.

Danny falls asleep to the sound of the ocean; to the waves rolling across the sand and sliding back to the main body of water. He falls asleep to the sound of crickets chirping, and the refrigerator whirring, and the air conditioning working its magic in Grace’s room, and he falls into sleep quickly and deeply.

He wakes to the sound of his phone vibrating with vicious intent a few feet from his face, beeping its cheerful little tune, and making its way across the sheets like it’s got somewhere to be and it’ll be damned if it’s late.

He flounders momentarily. The room is still dark and there’s no sounds of life from outside, and when he finally manages to lay his hands on it and shield his eyes from the horrifically bright screen, it’s to find out that it’s 5:26am, and there’s a message from Steve, reading “URGENT, REPLY ASAP”.

He goes from nearly comatose to red alert in the split second that it takes to sit bolt upright in bed, and his thumbs are typing before his brain has fully engaged. He hits send and then waits, cross-legged in the middle of Steve’s bed, for what seems like an age. It’s eerily quiet in the house without the comforting sounds of someone else sleeping in the room, and the seconds stretch on and on until finally it beeps again, vibrates against his palms.

 _One new picture message received_.

**

Kono takes one look at him as he strides into the office and immediately turns to Chin where he’s bent over the table, files spread out around him and fingers whizzing over the surface.

“I’m not working with him today; he’s in a bad mood. I’ll go with Jenna, you can have him,” she says flatly, and then turns back to Danny and gifts him with a grin so blindingly cheerful that he has an immense urge to hide all of her surfboards. It is the smile of the well-rested and mentally stable and he is jealous.

“You have no idea, don’t even get me started,” he grouches, and stomps his way over to the coffee machine, slamming a mug into position. “Oh, and good morning to you too.”

“Good morning,” Jenna says obligingly, and leans against the counter as the machine whirs into life and begins to spit coffee into his mug. “Something wrong?”

“Not so much wrong, as missing,” he corrects, and leans forward slowly until his forehead is pressed against the machine. “Several hours of sleep are missing, because I was woken at a stupid hour and couldn’t drift off again.”

“Sucks, brah,” Kono says lazily, and comes over to the machine as it finishes sputtering. Danny takes a sip and the world is already a better place. “You spoken to the bossman recently?”

“Yes, it was in fact him initiating contact this morning at an ungodly hour,” he admits, with a defeated sigh, and Jenna’s face immediately brightens.

“Well that’s great! It’s been like a week since you last spoke to him, right?” she says with a smile, but then her expression fades almost comically and turns to one of horror. “Oh no, he’s okay, isn’t he? He’s not hurt or anything?”

“No, he’s fine. I’m guessing.”

“So you didn’t actually talk to him?”

“No, I did not talk to him.”

“You didn’t... _want_ to talk to him?” she tries with a squint, and when he turns his head to scowl at everyone, she and Chin take an involuntary step back. Kono takes one forward.

“Of course I _want_ to talk to him,” he shouts, gripping the coffee mug so tightly that it’s in danger of cracking under the strain and sending boiling liquid everywhere. “In a general sense, I _want_ to talk to him, because it’s not as if I get to do that often and when I do it has to be on his schedule and not mine because he’s the one that’s off saving the world somewhere and not me, and he’s going to be saving the world for at least another two months so yes, I _want_ to talk to him, in the loosest sense of the word. But right now? No, I do not feel like talking to him right now, because I woke up three hours ago to a picture of his penis and I am _not a morning person_.”

Jenna blinks at him, like she’s unsure of how to proceed, and Chin just looks back down at his work and continues like this is nothing out of the ordinary and he knows that in a few hours, Danny will have forgotten all about it and will be back to alternating between gleefully going about things by the book and quietly pining for Steve in the corner.

Kono, on the other hand, follows him as he marches into the office with a look of immense amusement on her face, and for her initial statement that she didn’t want to be with him today, she’s certainly sticking close.

“One hell of a wake-up call then?” she asks, and he can hear her giggling inside like the little girl that she never acts like. It’s grating.

“Don’t you dare laugh, this is not funny,” he warns, and sits down violently in his chair. Steve’s chair. Whatever. “When I got a message saying URGENT from him, I assumed that something had gone down. I was worried, for the safety of those around him, I thought he might have actually cracked and gone full-on crazy, even by his insane SEAL standards, but all he wanted to do was send me a photo of his cock because he is a horny teenager who’s bored on a family trip. And our fearless leader seems to have forgotten that I’m not in the same time zone as him, whether on purpose or otherwise, and so I have not had my optimum amount of sleep, which means that when Grace got up to get ready for school, I did not have a particularly sunny disposition, and I’m pretty sure she picked up on my annoyance because she was quieter than normal in the car. So now my daughter’s upset, and I’m angry, and I didn’t even talk to him. So don’t you laugh, Kono Kalakaua, or I will think of something unpleasant to do to you that will probably involve restricting your access to explosives.”

Kono’s face falls momentarily, and she seems to reconsider her approach for a few seconds before walking over to him. He sighs, and rubs at his forehead as she perches on the desk just in front of him swinging her feet gently and staring. He doesn’t want to look at her expression, but he can’t help it, because she has one of those terrifying smiles that usually precedes statements such as “can we chase bad guys now?” creeping across her face.

He looks at her, and immediately regrets it.

“...so was it erect or flaccid?”

“I hate you _almost as much as him right now_.”


End file.
